08.05.16

You know why we’re scared?

Because we are scared of the unknown. We always want to make sure that we have a plan, an answer, a structure to follow. We cannot accept an event leading to an unknown future. Pero hindi yun ang riyalidad. Our plans are just pacifiers to help us pretend that we have a sense of control, even if we never would. Something would eventually come up — good or bad, that was not included to the future we had made up in our mind — and that’s life. The sooner we accept that God is in control, that we don’t need to have all the answers, that He’s already two steps ahead of us, the sooner we’ll feel relief from the pressures of life. So, calm your heart.

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I’m in good hands. I’m in God’s hands.

thSa totoo lang, ang negative ng takbo ng araw ko today at dahil ayokong ayokong nagpapakalat ng negative vibes, hindi ako nag blog. Pero ngayon medyo lumiwanag ang kalangitan kaya’t heto ako at nagkaron ng bagong pag-asa.

Sa sobrang dami ng stress ko na dedepress na ako dito, sobrang iba kapag mayroong ibang taong gumastos at gumagastos para sayo. Tapos ang weird pa dito everyday kaya dagdag stress. Tapos wala pa din ako nakikitang work. Tapos nawawala pa din yung bagahe ko. Tapos meron akong hinihintay pang isang sign.

And then naghapon, at dumating yung hinihintay ko last month pa, kaya gumaan yung dinadala kong problema. Thank God talaga. SI God ang lakas mangasar e. Pero ayun sabi niya siguro “Child, you need a break. Here you go.’

Eto naghahanap pa din ako ng work online and malapit ko nang igive-up ang nursing. Sumasakit na ang ulo ko (dahil na din sa mata ko) kaka internet. Hindi ko alam san ako magsisimula at narealize kong all I know is how to be a Nurse. Wala akong ka id-idea kung ano pang ibang bagay ang gagawin ko sa buhay ko. I need another sign!

Tapos sabi ni Bob Marley “Don’t worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright.”
At kanina nabasa ko “Nobody makes a lock without a Key. God won’t give you a problem without a solution”
Kaya naisip ko na I’m in good hands. I’m in God’s hands. :)

Ang lagi kong advice sa iba ay advice ko ngayon sa sarili ko. Don’t worry. Don’t worry dahil ano man ang planuhin mo ano man ang problemahin mo, along the way merong bagay na mangyayari at magugulat ka nalang na everything worked out fine eventually at matatawa ka nalang kung bakit ka namroblema noon.

God is testing my faith right now and I hope I’m still in His good grace. I remembered that I am not alone and God is with me all the time. I won’t lose hope, I won’t lose faith. I know there’s a plan for me. I’ll just do my best and God will do the rest. :)

May God Bless you Dubai! I mean Allah. :)
Ramadan Kareem.

Electric 2014

Since my New Year’s resolutions last year were such a success, now’s the time to make a new set of resolutions for this coming year!

I think it’s time for you guys to meet my Nemesis and it’s time for me to actually acknowledge her presence.
She always tells me that I can’t or I shouldn’t. She likes to break my plans and confuses me to do things I shouldn’t actually, which in the end brings me trouble. She constantly renews my negativity, my shyness, my laziness and my procrastination.

Who is She you ask?
She’s ME.

I always have a negative me inside me which makes me rethink things and smile when I have another plan and goal failed. This year, she and I will have a one on one combat.

New Year’s Resolutions for 2014
My 25th year.

1. Listen to the negative voice inside me, and do exactly the opposite of what she says.
“Damn that alarm clock, it’s still to early. You can still snatch up some sleep and just bathe faster later. Sleeeeep”
“Do you reaaaaally have to go? It’s time to rest at home and sit on your butt me thinks”
“That looks really tasty. Take a bite. More. More! MORE! Oh what the hell, finish it all!”

2. Choose to be healthy, ever, single, hour.
It’s been such a long struggle and like a post break-up depression, I’ve had enough. I think it’s time for me to stop planning and dreaming to be fit and actually get the fuck up and do it. Getting healthier as I have come to finally accept, is an hourly choice. Not the 4 times a week run. Not the after 6 or water therapy I read often.
To be healthy is to choose healthy all day.
Water or soda?
Coffee of green tea?
Lean meat or crispy fat?
Chips or bread?
Fried or vegetables?
This year, I’ll choose better and if I can’t I vow to moderate.

3. Start to be pro-active.
I’ve been practicing this and I’m getting the hang of it. This year, I will speak my mind and leave my passivity. I will step forward and abuse my capabilities. I will step forward and claim what’s mine. I will step forward, be forward and go forward. Enough of being behind the scene. It’s time for me to get some airtime.

That’s it. My 3 resolutions this year!!
I feel the energy coming in, sparking inside from my core to the ends of my hair and fingertips.

Electric 2014. Here we go!

Decree No.1

I declare every first day of the month ME Day.

1.1 Must do what I want for the day.
1.1.1 ME Day can be, of course be about another person of choice. If ME wants it.
1.2 Must have at least one relaxing (unnecessary) physical change.
1.3 Must not have a bad day
1.4 Must not accept any bad vibes until  11:59 PM
1.5 Must have a journal entry of what commenced the whole day.
1.6 Must not waste the day.

Signed 11.01.13

My Cup of Care is Empty

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I could easily be the most passive person in the world. Nothing fazes me so much that it could be able to stay in my system for a couple of minutes.

It’s a trick, a coping mechanism, if you must, that I had learned some years ago. It’s mind power. Believe it or not, I have the power to shut off from my mind from anything I want.

That’s part of the reason why I don’t care so much about stuff that doesn’t directly concern me.
For instance, let’s take the last quarter of 2013 as a reference.
I didn’t care about Miley Cyrus’ VMA stunt those days when it was on everybody’s mouth. I got curious, yeah, but after I had watched the video, I just shrugged it off. Because one, I knew it was a stunt and two, I believe that people need to fucking mind on their own business.

The recent sex videos of Chito and then Wally, didn’t even sparked my curiosity one bit. If anything, it made me sad. Sad for them and for the people who love it when people are scandalized. No, I didn’t care who’s fault it was, I was just sad for the outcome of the events.

Pork barrel, who can miss that in the news? I’m sorry but I don’t give a rat’s ass about it. I’m not a fan of politics because for me, it’s just a circus full of assholes — smart assholes, with masses of stupid as an audience. If the Napoleses get apprehended and everybody connected to it get hanged, what do gou think would happen? Would the millions magically appear inside my pockets? No. Would the money get distributed to the poor? No. The next brighter clown would hide it inside his hat. Abracadabra.

These fads don’t really affect me much, unlike the people I see online ranting about things they have no control of or jurisdiction on.

I think this passive behavior should be accounted for half of my life’s happiness.
I had sworn that I shall not cultivate negativity in my life, nor would I let it dance around me.
I have an invisible wall of positive energy that no bad vibes could penetrate. I move on from things that make me angry or sad just by simply turning it off inside my head. In an instant, I wouldn’t care anymore.

It’s also the same with people. If I don’t like you I won’t fucking talk to you. If you do me wrong, you wouldn’t get to exist in my world.
I mean what I say and I don’t say anything I don’t mean. And that’s that.

I think, those are the secrets to a long and happy living.

1. Focus on your own fucking life.
2. Don’t let anything or anyone take control of your emotions.
3. I can’t stress this enough in my blog — BE. POSITIVE.

There, so that’s me.
Who are you?