I Think..

Today is just another day. two more days before what all ahse students call “final judgment” or more popularly known as “Nursing Aptitude Test/Nat/Battery Test ” :)
Anyway, more stress coming my way as the days pass. Maybe for others it seems nothing. No effort done. No works and all play. But maybe, just maybe, they have not seen yet the weight of the works to be done. My To-Do list keeps getting longer, I just wish, Night time would be looonggerrrr… so I can catch up with my sleep. :( Last semester I was used to the long sleepless nights where in after a week of chaos, you just can’t wait for Sunday to come and crawl back to you bed and sleep forever, This semester was a lot different than that, I cannot stay past 2 anymore! yes, what a shame… And see, I still find time to visit friendster, haha..:) And after this, I’ll start to cram over the things to be done yet..:)

Today, I have learned a very important lesson. “Balance”.
You can neither be too “bad” nor too “good”. why? because people around you would start to feel too comfortable. What I mean by this is they would learn to be lazy and start to abuse you. If you get too strict they despise you, too loose they exploit you. where would you stand? of course you know where, maybe you are just afraid to be too much of a bossy. yup. that was the problem i had realized just a while ago.
I have this characteristic, maybe some can see it as a good trait, some may not. I’m with the latter. I’m talking about being passive. being too passive I suppose.”sure, sige, okay lang, ayos lang, sige ako na lang, ako na bahala” words from hell If used to often, I tell you. Some see me as too quiet, too good natured. That is about to change. NO, I did not say “that is about to become the opposite”. I just said change. balance I repeat. While we’re at it, I also have another negative trait. :) being too muted. I sometimes do not say what I think or feel. I sometimes do not express it. lots of factors for that, maybe I’m shy to voice out my opinions, too careful not to hurt others’ feelings, and again, too passive. That too, is about to change. Saying what’s on your mind for the betterment of the situation is not a sin right? Maybe one of these days I can learn how to be an opinionated person-verbally opinionated that is. Maybe I can finally learn how to say hurtful truths, in a tactful way of course.
Anyway,. Enough about me.
2 days to go,..

Anyway, before I go back to my research assignment, I just want to share the words of wisdom from my former CI. I can never forget what she said.

“A Nurse is someone who has a critical thinking, skillful hands and a loving heart..”

yes! TLC girl..tender love and care..:P If given a chance, I think I can be a great nurse..haha..:D

whew..

“Mag dilang anghel sana ako”

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Our 78 steps to heaven adventure!

So here I am right now, struggling for memories..:) It was centuries ago since the last time i updated this..anyway..why 78 steps to heaven? here it goes..:)

I woke up at 4:30, Originally, my phone was set to 4:00 but I was too lazy to wake up then, so there.  I made my morning rituals – I took a bath, I dressed up, I put my hair up in a bun since it was Saturday and it was my RLE Day, I ate breakfast, packed my lunch and checked everything in case I’ve forgotten something again.
Then I was off.
I rode a jeepney to taft, and another jeepney to manila zoo where we all assemble. There are a number of sections from 2nd year AHSE waiting in front of their respective buses. Ours was open so I went in and placed my bag on one of the chairs. According to popular belief, in a school related trip, a bus is divided into three parts. The back area is where the noisy and goofy students are located, the middle is where the middle students are located and the front area where is where narcissistic, teachers’ pet students are located. With that being said, our chair  is on the 3rd row, just behind our CI’s. Anne, my seat mate, sits beside the window and I sit near the isle since I stand up every now, but the real reason is because, according to Anne, in case of accidents +knock on wood+ the driver will save himself first, and so, the nearer we are from the driver, the better — she says.

Anyway, I left my bag there, got my clipboard, a piece of attendance sheet a pen and went to do my job. Every RLE day, 6:40 am, I roam around the bus, shouting..” Oh, pirma na sa attendance, Checklist nio akin na, Reflection notebook, o di pa tapos? paki pass na lang sa harap ah? outputs akin na..” Then, after accomplishing everything, I’ll pass them to my CI. Those are some of  my responsibilities as a group leader — every Sturdays of my whole schoolyear. After everything, I’ll sit beside Anne, whose already there by that time, chats for a while and text Jen for “updates..:)” An hour after all the announcements and sometimes early eating sessions, It’s time for me to slumber away…..

Sometimes I’ll wake up while we are still in the middle of the road, but sometimes, when I am really wasted, I’ll wake p as soon as the bus parks at the side of the road. Our location for our Community Nursing was in Alfonzo Cavite, Pob.1 Brgy. 1 The smallest in all the adopting communities. After alighting the bus, we go straight to our adopting families where we leave our things and eat our packed lunch at. After a few minutes with them, we went to work. For this day, we did the spot map. A spot map is, well, a map of our entire community. All we did was walk there, walk here, draw, erase, draw, point, erase, draw, walk there and walk here – All. Day. Long. Anyway, to make the story short, while we were interviewing some locals about their community, somebody told us about a “pool”, situated on a river bank. Curiosity sprang and after a few minutes, we are about to break the rules. (the rules wherein we are not to loiter around esp. when 1. there are still things to be done 2. We are going somewhere without supervision. ) with that rule in mind, we went.

Eunice, Anne, Gian, Paula and I started going down the “bangin” with cemented steps the size of 2 square tiles. It was slightly drizzling then, It was dark due to the trees around us, and plants were everywhere! Have I told you yet that snakes are abundant on that very place??? Anyway, after sometime, we reached the bottom, and alas, after “78” steps, we were in for the best surprise of our adopting community.

The so-called river, was merely a stream of water, which was the beauty of it. we thought it was a deep river and just a plain sight to see. but no, we were wrong. we went down the cemented stairs, careful enough not to slide down. Good thing I went down there with crazy people, because if it was only Eunice and I, I was sure to chicken out because first of all, I don’t like breaking rules, and second, I’m scared of slippery slopes due to a past experience I had. ~_~ There was a short hanging bridge going to the said pool, which was empty by the way, since there was a shortage in water then. The place was amazing. The trees overhang above us, plants all around us, soft gush of water and caressing winds. It was so peaceful, so perfect.
We took several pictures, some for the documentary some for friendster purposes  only..:)

After a few minutes of appreciating mother nature, we decided to go back..

We were so refreshed and we were all in high spirits as we went to our original tasks for that day. We decided to keep it a secret (apparently, We just decided to boast it around ^_~ ) and planned to go back again sometime, to have a picnic..haha..:D
Sometimes, it’s good to break the rules..:)

Suicide Note

Before I sleep tonight,
I’ll pray to God above,
I’ll tell him, make me sleep tight
So tight, I’ll rise like a dove.

Before I sleep tonight,
I’ll pray to god for light.
I’ll tell him, heaven is where I want to be,
In heaven, where I can see you without me,

Before I sleep tonight,
I’ll pray to god who is all ears
My tears, my miseries, my pain,
I’ll pray, it disappear.

But before I sleep tonight
I’ll write a poem, a poem just right,
I’ll fold it, and kiss it
I’ll put it on my side.

I would get a knife,
I would stab my heart.
I would cry in pain and then I would call your name
I would close my eyes and say my last goodbyes.

But in this pain so deep,
I would not pray for sleep,
Heaven, I’ll just forget,
I would just pray for death.

By: Cherry F.