August 11, 2015

3:45 PM

Everyday I am trying to be a better version of myself. Settling in a routine or work and home eliminated most of the things I need to do because I usually just end up tired and hungry after work. Most of the things I want to do just spring up sporadically in a month and during my off days. I know, my period must be coming because I am again up and about wanting to do a bunch of things, planning this and that so I am trying to hold on to some of it before the hormones pass on.

Physically — I personally see changes and that makes me giddy and lazy at the same time, because my evil self keeps telling my good self that I CAN make a change in my body any time I want so I can postpone it for things like chips, sweets, lying on bed all day… So I am trying the hardest battle of all time, to stay fit and choose food wisely. I want to win but right now, the battle is still going on.

Mentally — I am losing my English and spelling abilities and my Nursing knowledge is fading away so I will work on these also by incorporating them in my monthly planner (something I am trying to accomplish today). I am trying to learn to read, write and speak Arabic also so I have lots of work to do as I am back to kindergarten level. I have YouTube subscriptions to Arabic teachers which I try to watch when i have free time, but ever since I was introduced to Clash of Clans game application, my time seemed to warp. I am also trying to understand proper Tagalog writing which might surprise you since I’m Filipino, but yeah, I have also a lot to learn because I don’t use Filipino in proper context when I write. Wow, these Languages.

Emotionally — I can, aside from Spritual state, this is also my strong suit. I am emotionally stable because I have successfully trained myself to see the good in everybody and the positive spin to everything. Though being moody hinders my ability sometimes, I have a partner to re-calibrate me so I’m grateful for that :)

Spiritually — I’ve always had this connection with God and I am trying to remember to talk to him even when I have nothing to ask for and I make it a point to thank him for all the little things around me. One of my goals is to try to teach these things also to the people I love, which is harder than I thought because I have no idea how to make them see the way I see things (Writing that on my to-learn list now). It’s also a little harder to influence the adults because they have their own beliefs and traditions and these are hard-set on them already. I will still try of course as I am an instrument of God and He’s given me this gift of connection and wisdom for me to affect others with His help.

Socially — This is my weakest state because I hate humans. Ha! Kidding aside, I am working with my Social Skills as I try to talk to people now and make conversations. I am happy to report that I am improving. What I need to work on is the way I talk to people close to me because I am very straight forward and sometimes, when they don’t understand that everything I say comes out of love and they get offended. I also don’t like to mingle with them (even if they’re my friends) if I don’t like their topic at that moment (talking about other people) so I distant. I can’t help it if I don’t like shallow talks and repetitive problems that they don’t want to fix themselves. But aside from that, I am working inside my cocoon to be a fully winged social butterfly! (Not gonna happen)

I want to be a well rounded person, and yes I think about all these aspects of my life. I don’t know if everybody is like this or I am overthinking it, but for me it’s healthy, because who’s going to improve you other than you?

I also thought that I am not a planner, turns out I am. Now, I am planning details of my life to the dot (I am not really good at following them though.☺) to the point that I am working on to make a planner for myself because I have lots of scratch papers in my bag. I also learned that I’m not really into stylus and screen and still a pen and paper girl as I get more stuff out of my brain with these instruments than typing or tapping. SO my Samsung Note 4 plan is now under observation.

My budget plan is scratched out since new things emerged and some old plans were eliminated, I am now sure that all plans no matter how stable and perfect will have its holes and will eventually crumble, and that’s okay because we can plan new things and start new pages. Whoa almost got carried away there…

I am also thinking about my future (duh), when to get married, how many kids, where to live and how the hell to start these things with my meager salary. So I am making my game plan. I will probably tell you (probably not) when I am done thinking about it.

Also, It was my day off yesterday until tomorrow morning, so I tried to bake a Pizza and Buffalo Chicken! I will tell you all about it when I finished my to-do list today. I am halfway there so, I’ll see you soon.

Air kiss.

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