My grandfather was watching DZMM Teleradyo a while ago and Korina’s segement today, February 14, is about relationships.
“What is the difference between loving and falling in love?” — Well, for me, falling in love is the one you feel on the early stages of the relationship. From the first day you had butterflies in you stomach until 7 months or so. It’s the stage where you feel so euphoric with everything he does for you or you do together, much like a heroin addict that must have his fix.
You simply fall and float at the same time into a vast nothingness of pure light and liquid energy where time doesn’t exist but go fast at the same time. That’s how it feels. That’s falling in love.
On the other hand loving him, starts when the spotlight goes off and your halos and wings disappear. It’s the stage where you start getting into each other’s nerves for the biggest and smallest things. You start to see his pores up-close, he starts to fart in front of you, he snores beside you, he starts to forget to text you and he starts to skip calling you. And while all of these are happening you are still, hopelessly loving him. Every wee bit of imperfection and human-like characteristics of him, you take in and you take hold of, because it’s him and it makes him, him. That’s loving.
The “falling in love” isn’t always there. Sometimes, it’s hiding under a dark place. But “loving”, that doesn’t go away.
Then, the topic went to adultery. Here are some other points they had tackled and my take on them.
- Women should always re-invent themselves to keep the relationship interesting. — I agree, but not totally. A person must always experiment with himself. It doesn’t have to be full on lady gaga in 24 hours, but just a little bit of this and that. Install fake lashes, do a different manicure, change the shape of your eyebrows or have a little haircut. It keeps your mind fresh and personality fresher because you feel that it’s a brand new you. BUT, that is for YOU and not for your partner. I believe that a lover never gets bored. If he does want a little change in you, he might suggest it but he never just go out and look for something new. A same haircut for 10 years can never be a reason to look for another head.
- Women should understand than men are just lonely and bored sometimes. — I heard that before. Men are naturally polygamous. I think, that’s bullcrap. I cannot stress it enough that I hate fucking cheaters. It’s alright if you have fallen out of love. It happens. People breaking-up around the world right this minute and that’s what natural. But you can’t tell me that men need multiple partners and I can’t have Johnny Depp and Chris Hemsworth at the same time. When a man is lonely or bored, he makes the relationship work, he invents ways to spice it up, he thinks of things to do or places to go. He plans with his lover. He’s not supposed to look for it outside the relationship! And for crying out loud, women should never, ever, try to stay meek and feel the she must understand his lover’s “needs”. Fuck that from heaven to hell.
- When adultery happens, women need to open their arms to their men, fight for them and win them back. — And what? endure the pain and the humiliation. HAHA. I don’t think so. I think, women should be empowered! We don’t need men to survive. Gone are the days when women bind their feet for constant support (Lotus Feet in China). Women aren’t doormats anymore. We can vote, we can work and we can as well raise a hell of a family alone. Okay, that’s not the goal of course. It’s not saying that we don’t ever need men and live in Venus. I’m just saying that when it comes to a point that your man is sniffing around for another kitten, you must not try to go running after his tail. There’s a fine line between fighting for a relationship and being a moron. Why on earth would you want a man that you don’t trust? Why would you want that constant alarm bell inside your head? Why would you want a man that can’t be trusted with a jar of cookies? You don’t need to stress yourself out. You don’t need to constantly worry yourself to your deathbed. You don’t need to hire a detective to follow your husband to his every out of town, hell, out of house.
Then there’s the issue of kids. Being a father is different from being a husband and I don’t think you must have the same exit plans for them. If he wants (and he must) to still be a father to his kids, then thank God! Let him be their father, and let them be his kids. But remember, you don’t want an idiot for a husband.
I went upstairs after that because I was getting annoyed by their comments. I think it’s unfair to paint a picture of a woman who must sacrifice her soul for the love of a man. Men are supposed to be painted as galant gentlemen riding in horses, fighting for the love his life. He mustn’t be like “A Baby in a Gentleman’s Coat” that you must always look after for with drools you must always wipe off. It’s supposed to be “Women are all princesses under a maid’s dirty uniform”. They must be loved, respected and taken care of.
I can’t speak for everyone out there because there are also really annoying, nagging, mean, crazy and adulterous women out there.
I’m just voicing out my opinion, as a lover and as a woman who loves a man. ☺
With that, I would like to leave you with these quotes:
“When another woman steals your man, the best revenge is let her keep him.”
“No man is worth your tears, and the one who is won’t make you cry”
“Another wrong one is another step forward to the right one”
Happy hearts day! ♥