So this is kind of a live blog because you’re getting it as it happens. A couple of minutes ago, I received a message on my facebook which made me gasp.
“Im glad that you are happy.Sorry for everything :)”
The message was from my father.
You see, this is the first time we had contact.
For 22 years.
I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time. It’s not because I want him to message me, but because I want to know how it would feel to have your estranged father talk to you. I opened his facebook profile and I stared long and hard on his picture. And you know how it felt?
I even tried forcing myself to be emotional over everything. But there was none.
The first thing I did was compare his face to mine and studied what features we share. I was always wondering about that. I’m still not sure which, because you need an outsider’s eyes for that.
— My mom went inside the room and I told her what happened. She read it and unintentionally made a face. It was funny!:) But then she said that I could reply and tell him what I feel. He’s my father anyway… —
The second thing that came to mind was how he found me. That wasn’t such a mystery though. I was facebook friends with his son (my stepbrother) and my auntie (her sister). We are all civil with each other, though my mind still can’t wrap around the idea that I have another set of family. I don’t know if you could understand how I feel, but imagine this. You have a dog and you love this dog (or cat) very very much until you wake up one day and found out that you have another dog, this one you lost a long time ago and was supposed to bring back to your life again. Darn! that’s an ugly comparison. It’s easy to love a dog.
I know what to do anyway. I would reply to him with what I am thinking. I’m not mad at him. What I feel is how you are supposed to feel when you meet a stranger for the first time.
And this blog post proves it, because it suck. I write better when I’m emotional. So…:)
Okay, here we go.