A Rope Game

I’m angry right now. I don’t understand how people can be so selfish. Here I am trying my best to help one person regain his strength and then there’s these other people who keeps on sitting on his shoulders. I don’t fucking understand how this works! Am I supposed to keep trying harder to get his attention or am I supposed to give up trying to help him? It’s like I am the only one who’s pulling him and everybody else (including himself) is either pulling him to the other direction or else, just watching the show.
It’s not fun anymore.
It’s not fun anymore because I feel like a nagging mother who always reminds him this, tell him this, get angry at this.. and he’s like a child that needs to be taken care of. Fuck. I know that I told myself never to look for a person like that anymore. I’ve been meeting people like that every. single. time. I told myself that this time, I want somebody to take care of me. But noooo. Here we go again.
With great power, comes great responsibility.
I know that I have it, but it’s really hard if you’re the only one who’s fighting for it, and even the other person whom you’re doing it for, isn’t there.

This is my life, and that is your life.
I understand.
But if we’re together, aren’t we supposed to be taking care of each other? Aren’t we supposed to think that “what I do now also affects you”. Aren’t we supposed to give our best for the future?

I clearly see now that we aren’t looking at the same sunrise.
And yet, here I am willing to stay and wait.
But it feels so exhausting to do this alone.

But why am I alone?


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