Always Looking for Reasons To End Happiness

I have to go out in a while. Still haven’t taken a bath yet so here’s quick blog post.
Whatever good thing that’s happening in my (love) life. I am sure to fuck it every single time.

JP, remember him? Yeah, him. I told him last night that I won’t be texting anymore. The reason being I don’t want to get used to him, because these past few days that’s what’s happening.
I don’t want to wait for his texts anymore and I want to be able to sleep without his phone calls.
These past few days I’ve been really thinking if I am already falling in love with him. I highly doubt that this is love, but I sure am acting that it is.
And that’s the reason why.
I can’t trust him yet. I don’t totally know him and I can’t trust words.
Words are just words.
How many times do I have to learn that?
And so that was the plan.
I don’t know till when but he agreed. He told me that he’ll miss me so much but if I want it, he’ll take it.
And that was it.

Here’s the tricky part. I would only resume texting him if he’d text me “miss na miss na miss”.
Yep, that’s the sign. “Miss” three times in one message.
If God permits, this would be the second sign and then, I won’t disobey anymore.

Still haven’t told you the reasons why I can’t fall for him, right?
More to come.

I have to run to the bath now.

Hating herself,


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