I feel nauseated. I am physically ill. My stomach is churning from the pain my heart is feeling and from the pressure my brain is fighting. I am, yet again, here inside this hole 300ft. below the ground. I can’t stand this :(
I feel that I’d explode. Humming won’t help when it usually does, i don’t know what to do :( No not the singing-like humming. The meditating-like humming that sends vibration.

Can I say this just this once?
Fuck!;( I hate this! I hate this! I hate this!:(
I feel so useless and stupid and down and nothing. How on earth did I pass that damn exam? Did I even deserve to pass it?! It seems like I dodged everything when I was in college and now I am paying for it :(
Crap. This is crap. I am thinking crap. But I can’t help it :(
I need some divine intervention please?:(
Reese’s and Kisses,

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