A Poem for My Nonexistent Man

I put my heart out for everyone to see
It can still feel the beauty of the sunset and the sea
In the mornings, it looks up to the birds, a smile on its face
On rainy days, a book and a tea would never be replaced

But what you see, what you hear, what you feel
It’s not my heart, don’t take it, leave it here
Mine is bare, it has scratches and it is chained too
I’m afraid it is broken. You can’t fix it boo.

Though I am already healed and my soul is replenished
The heart I’ve been putting out is just a fraction of the lid
What I can really give out and share with a bliss
Is a million fold protective, kind and more selfless

How I wish it isn’t so, how I wish I can still go
To that place I’ve been dreaming of decades ago
Somewhere this heart can totally let go
A place I can fall and not be afraid of doing so

So here’s a small plea of someone with a heart like me,

Break my mirrors and my plates
Break my windows and my glasses
Leave it on the floor
I’d be the one to sweep the mess

Throw away my bags
Laugh at my blogs
Burn away all my books
Use my clothes as a rag

Delete all my files and misplace my phone
Take my money and don’t feed me till I am a bone
This list can go on, if you ask me for some more
But I think I can sum it up in eight lines and no more

You see I don’t care about these things that I love
You don’t need to like it, that is my job
Break it, take it, lose it or hate it from the start.
You only need to be careful and not be reckless with my heart.

And I wish I can keep my heart and yours within me
I wish to see the sunset with you beside me
In the mornings, I wanna wake up to the smile on your face
And on rainy days, I want to sleep inside your warm, sweet embrace

-Cherry F.

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