My sister and I have always been joking about my mild OC-ness. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or OCD is a serious psychological disorder that is not to joke about. But the way I always want to fix things in order and how something that is just a tad dislocated, unbalanced or not in the center bothers me. BOTHERS me.
If I can fix it I will. If I can cut it I will. If it can be humanly possible to customize it I will.
Now, it was nothing serious until this one day that I observed how these little things makes me anxious. And I got scared that I might be developing in myself a disorder I do not have. I might be training my mind to do these things and I got scared.
Maybe it’s normal for one person to feel uncomfortable if she sees one book on the bookshelf jutting out from the rest or one little mark the teacher missed while erasing the white board.
It’s normal, but nevertheless, it got me scared.
Now, I try (really, really hard) to undermine these little things. Ignore these little things and tell myself that it’s nothing. It’s just a writing on a piece of paper that’s not on the center. You don’t have to cut it. The tape doesn’t really need to be fixed, nobody will sit down and observe that small tape anyway. Darn you finished re-arranging your photo album chronologically and now you found a bunch of your childhood pics. You don’t have to re-arrange everything again! Just put them in the extra album along with the other pictures you found.
I wonder how many people are like me.
Or maybe I’m just imagining things.