I was a late boomer. By 16 most of my classmates in high school had already tried all kinds of stuff kids thought were cool. I refrain from doing them by choice, not giving into peer pressure.
I tasted my first alcohol during my 20th birthday and since then, I started to think, wait a minute I still know what I’m doing, I still know what’s happening. How come people always say “I was drunk, I didn’t know what was going on”?
My theory is that some people just uses being “drunk” as an excuse to do stupid things they won’t otherwise do and a person always know what happening, I’m not sure about the forgetting part though, but for such a long time, I wanted to test that idea. When I try to open that to people, they’d say that if you want to get really drunk, you’d better do it with people whom you trust. I agree.
That day finally came embodied by The Boyfriend during an out of town with my good friends.
The full sober experience is here: Laiya, Batangas: Finally, An Out of Town
After a while, our stomachs ruled out so we went back to our hut and that’s when J opened the bomb a.k.a the Boracay Rum Bomb. I hate the coffee flavor but after a couple of glasses, and a final sane state bottoms up with The Boyfriend, my sanity, suddenly… shut down.
And the story continues but this time from the point of view of 3 entities.
The experiment commences.
I was still sitting at our table when the lights in my brain switched off instantly. One second we were just talking and drinking, I blinked my eyes and I became three. I was aware that A&J was about to leave to buy dinner and I was still aware of everything else. I have never gotten drunk before. Not because I was special but because I know how to stop. This time, we had no chasers, I don’t have a glass of water and I don’t want to stop. As a back story, I really wanted to get drunk that day to have a courage to let go of my broken soul for a while and so I did.
I felt that I had to stop because another step away from the light, I’d be in complete darkness. The Boyfriend excused himself from the table to go to the bathroom.
I took a shot.
Ladies and gentledudes I want you to meet the 3 people inside me that day.
Mentally Me – That’s the sober me. She is really quiet right now, probably paralyzed. Just observing and taking down notes while the experiment is going on.
Physically Me – That’s the one picking up the glass, making too much hand gestures as she speaks, trying to track her senses during the experiment, relaying to Mentally Me.
Emotionally Me – That’s the one doing the talking most of the time. She’s on steroids, extremely happy, excited and amazed by her observations and later on, she got extremely sad.
So I got aware of these three people inside me when the lights switched off and I started to talk to The Boyfriend, vaguely realizing what had happened to me.
MM: Is this how it feels? It’s like I got three of me.
EM: It’s amaazing.
PM looks around and assessed her senses.
Sight: Narrowing. Can only focus on one subject
Smell: No apparent change
Sound: Loss of focus
Taste: No apparent change
Touch: Hands seems to get clumsy and foot work all messed up.
The Boyfriend: Why, how do you feel?
MM: It’s like, if I want to throw this glass..
EM: I can.
MM: But I know it’s wrong so I won’t.
PM is slightly confused by also won’t do it.
The Boyfriend confirms it. MM won’t take over and just sits at the corner and watch. EM on the other hand, loved the freedom and started telling him the story about how I’d like to experiment this experience for a long time. The boyfriend tried to trick EM into a what would you do situation where I was allowed to drink with my friends and I got drunk when a stranger comes over and introduces himself. MM knows the drill, answers the question logically and passed the test. MM felt she has to pee so she went to the bathroom to pee. PM felt she’s walking on a ship in the middle of a storm. On the way out of the bathroom MM stared at herself in the mirror.
Nothing. It was still her, the same face looking back, but inside her there was an ongoing storm.
When they got back, EM started talking again with PM’s exaggerated movements. Another bathroom break had passed, where The Boyfriend had to manually fetch her out because PM was taking so long that The Boyfriend got worried. EM even started talking about Benjamin Franklin and his Kite experiment as a comparison on how she observes the world and experiments on it first hand. She started to apologize for the was she’s behaving and talking non-stop while The Boyfriend patiently listens and answers. At one point MM asked The Boyfriend to remember every little thing and relate to her what he saw just in case MM forgets upon waking up. MM, still observing, started to wonder — she’s missing some of her the timeline, but if she really thinks hard on them, she can remember sequence of events that led them where they are now — sitting on a bed instead of outside at the porch. PM heard the music paused and change outside and MM realized A&J were back, cooking something outside. PM got exhausted and decided that she’s sleepy. The Boyfriend did not allow PM to sleep yet because she’s still wet from swimming at the pool. The Boyfriend took care of that. EM was crying at one point and The Boyfriend consoled her.
When A&J offered dinner, EM was quiet, MM was quiet and PM was sleeping.
I felt A&J walk inside the room and ask if we were ready for dinner. EM was tearing up, MM was quiet and PM was sleeping. My good friend A lay down beside me and hugged me. The Boyfriend said to just let me sleep for a while. I told the Boyfriend that I was cold and so he removed his long sleeved shirt and put it on top of my sleeping dress. He even put his long cotton shorts on me. I slept like a baby.
I gained consciousness around the time the three of them were back inside the room. A was sleepy but J and The Boyfriend decided to continue the drinks. The lights on my brain went back on at around past 10 PM. I told The Boyfriend I was hungry and he fixed me up some noodles to warm my belly. I was sitting on the porch inside his clothes, freezing while waiting for the instant noodles. While he fed me like a sick kid, he told me what happened and I told him what I remember and I didn’t forget anything.
We went back to the room after I finished eating and I drifted off to sleep.
I woke up bright and early the next day like nothing happened. I felt alright, no headache, no vomiting and just a massive thirst for a cocoa drink. I even tried to fix us up some breakfast. And I didn’t forget one single thing.
And I was happy that I did what I did that night. Happy that I had crossed off another thing on my bucket list and actually proven my theory. It was a successful experiment but more than all of that, I was glad that while I was away from my senses, I had him beside me all the way. He looked after me and took care of me. I thanked him for that. And I always will be thankful for having a man like him beside me. Not taking advantage, though tempted, and just kept listening, kept observing, taking down notes with MM and after seeing me like a wreck, still found me lovable the next day. And I will always love him for that. :)